6 Polite Phrases That Might Be Undermining You And What to Say Instead

Sometimes, in trying to be polite, we end up sounding unsure, passive, or even insecure

This happens especially in emails or professional conversations

I've seen it happen with fluent speakers, native speakers, and even with myself
We want to be respectful, but we unintentionally soften our message too much

Here are six common phrases that sound nice, but actually make you sound less confident
Here's what you can say instead

1. “Sorry to bother you...”

Why it's a problem
You're apologizing before you've even said anything It sets a weak tone and makes it seem like your message isn't important

What to say instead

• “I hope you're doing well. I just wanted to follow up on…”

• “Just checking in to see if…”

You're not a bother
You're communicating

2. “I was just wondering if...”

Why it sounds weak
This phrase feels hesitant and indirect It can make you seem unsure of your own request

What to say instead

• “Could you let me know if...”

• “Would it be possible to…”

Stay polite, but be clear and direct

3. “I think maybe we could...”

Why it weakens your point
Using "I think", "maybe", and "could" in the same sentence adds too much uncertainty

What to say instead

• “We could…”

• “A better option might be…”

If it’s your idea, present it with confidence

4. “Does that make sense?”

Why it can backfire
It might sound like you're doubting yourself Or even the other person's ability to understand

What to say instead

• “Let me know if you'd like more details”

• “Happy to clarify anything”

You can invite questions without questioning your own clarity

5. “I'm not sure, but...”

Why it hurts credibility
Starting with doubt encourages others to dismiss what you're about to say

What to say instead

• “One idea might be…”

• “Here’s a possible approach…”

It’s okay to be tentative
Just don’t lead with hesitation

6. “Hopefully that’s okay”

Why it undercuts authority
You're asking for approval when it's not necessary It gives the impression you're unsure of your decision

What to say instead

• “Let me know if you'd prefer a different approach”

• “I'll go ahead unless I hear otherwise”

Be clear and assertive while remaining open to feedback

In Summary

Being polite is important, but it shouldn’t come at the cost of sounding unsure
Small changes in the way you phrase things can have a big impact on how your message is received
Speak clearly
Write with confidence
You can be respectful and direct at the same time.